Hunting Elk is humbling.

(This may be due in heavy part to the Dunning-Kruger effect)

Despite my normal to higher-than-average psychological shortcomings I think anyone who has done it would agree to the premise that bowhunting elk is a humbling activity.

After spending 8 days in the wilds of Colorado’s Rocky Mountains I return to Denver with an unfilled archery Elk tag, an empty cooler, and a complex array of emotions. My 2020 solo DIY archery Elk hunt consisted of 700 Miles traveled, 40+ on foot, in 3 different units. It did not produce an Elk in the freezer but did send me on a rollercoaster both mentally and physically. As I sit here and process there is a phrase that comes to mind:

“You only fail if you fail to learn from the experience.”

Those words are easy to type, they’re easy to say to a friend, but they are difficult to internalize. In our electronic world full of drama and short attention spans it's easy to appreciate and repeat platitudes. It isn't until you are in the arena, until you’ve gone through something that fundamentally changes your understanding of the world around you that you realize platitudes are really only for out of touch motivational posters and equally out of touch Instagram influencers. I’ve been guilty of consuming, repeating and promoting these turns of phrase but until this past September I have not had a truly trying situation where these polished tropes were tested in the real world.

Appreciation of the beauty one gets to experience while out in the elk woods. Routt National Forest

Turning to a motivational IG page can provide a brief shot of dopamine or even just a bit of relief when you’ve had a tough day at the office or your relationship isn’t where you want it to be, but those fleeting moments of comfort are all that is needed in those situations. Of course you’ll eventually put in the work on that new resume or have that tough conversation with your S/O but in that moment of need you had a comforting sentence or two to get you through your mental anguish.

There is a different type of doubt that creeps in when you are solely focused on a specific task. A task that has one foot planted in the primal traditions of our species and the other foot planted in the world of highly technical and expensive equipment. At the end of the day a sharp stick with an even sharper mind are the basic requirements for being a provider. Add in thousands of dollars worth of gear with attractive labels with words like ultralight or backcountry and the relationship to the task begins to change a little.

A watering hole on highly pressured public land

In the months, weeks and days leading up to my solo hunting adventure I was filled with hope of successfully participating in what I now know is one of the most difficult activities a human can undertake. The confluence of skills required to be able to take down an elk on public land with a bow is what has drawn me to the task. Each one of the following disciplines requires hundreds if not thousands of hours of study and practice in order to achieve a level of proficiency required for success: Archery, Hiking, Camping, Survival, Meteorology, Anemology (study of winds), Ecology, and Fitness. And all of that is necessary in order to be able to maybe capitalize on an opportunity.

A friend of mine and I were comparing the skills required to land a wahoo via spearfishing and an elk via archery and it turns out that they are oddly similar. In both scenarios one needs to possess a confluence of skills and knowledge in order to simply be able to get lucky. There are tremendously helpful resources like books, podcasts, films and documentaries that can advance us in our journey but there is nothing that can replace the knowledge gained from being in the arena. The difference between those who have been successful and those who long to be successful is simply time spent. Archery and Spearfishing are wonderful pursuits because they both contain elements of a life-long learning process however, there is a baseline level of proficiency that can be achieved relatively quickly (2-5 years) in which after that the difference between success and failure, between creating opportunities and never having them is truly how much time one spends on the task.

One beautiful aspect of both spearfishing and bowhunting is that there is a flow state required for success and because there is a flow state requirement it means there is a space created where the rest of the world’s problems melt away and you become solely focused. With spearfishing sometimes this focus comes in 2 minute chunks, sometimes it's the entire afternoon of being out on the water removed from society that puts your brain in this flow state. With archery elk, especially backpack hunting you not only leave society but you become a part of the forest, you are not an observer you are a participant. Take any “average” human being and send them on a 1 mile hike starting at 9,500 feet and ending at 10,500 feet and they will quickly gain an appreciation for the lives of wild animals. Now consider spending 6 or 7 days on foot putting in 5-10 miles a day bouncing between 7,500 feet and 11,000 feet and you can extrapolate what true appreciation for what wild means both in place and in capability.

On this past hunt I spent the first 4 days in a unit I’ve been to several times and have seen elk in, the difference this time around is that the elk have been experiencing hunting pressure for 14 days. That additional pressure was enough to send the elk moving off to a parcel of land owned by a mining company that acts as a sanctuary for these animals this time of year. Being on foot for this entire journey I quickly learned where I fell in the ranks of endurance, ability and knowledge. At one point I found myself about 6 Miles from my truck and just at the very edge of where the Elk had snuck off too. This was one of the first moments on this hunt where a real loss of hope sunk in. As an observer of life and humans I’ve come to conclude that most of our negative emotions stem from a loss of hope. A loss of hope for how the future could potentially go. A future vacation with a lover, a future conversation with a grandparent, a future meal provided by the fruits of your labor. It was roughly my 24th or 25th mile on foot where I had a sensation wash over me “I don't know if I have what it takes.” The level of self doubt that comes with a label of “I don't have what it takes” can be depressing, even crippling, but the difference between those who get it done and those who don't is consistency. There are two responses to the thought “I don't have what it takes”

You can accept that as the truth and walk away
You can go on a mission to obtain what it takes to be successful.

I think all hunters carry a certain level of healthy delusion as to how the hunt will go. Of course we sometimes imagine running into our quarry at the trailhead but then think “well that would be too easy.” There is a level of difficulty we hope for in that we want to “earn” the experience but there is a more realistic level of difficulty that I think we block out because it acts more as a deterrent than it does a motivator. There is a stark contrast between fantasising what might happen day 2 or day 3 of your hunt vs how your body, mind and feet feel after 3 or 4 days of being singularly focused on harvesting an animal. Seeing or hearing an Elk after a couple days of no elk sign has an energizing effect on the human mind. Similarly to how catching a glimpse of a trophy fish towards the end of a breathhold can provide dozens of seconds of stamina. Your mind doesn't have the energy to focus on what you’re being deprived of (oxygen) it only can focus on the goal (landing a fish)

To put things generally the overall act of archery elk hunting is made up of 5 equal parts: archery, elk ecology, regional knowledge, fitness and boots on the ground. Each one of these components is worthy of a lifetime of knowledge gathering and refinement. Deep knowledge of anything first requires an understanding of what you don't know. This may sound a bit odd but this is where that 20% of boots on the ground action starts to become very important. Aristotle is quoted as saying “The more you know the more you don't know.” In the context of bowhunting elk I interpret that to mean: As you gain experience afield only then can you start to explore the infinite possibilities and their subtle nuances. There is a metacognitive component to the boots on the ground aspect of experience. A knowledge of self can only be gained through periods of action and reflection You can not anticipate how your body & mind will respond to certain stimuli until you have built a toolbox of experiences to draw from.

A unique aspect of being human is to reflect on our past experience, a peculiar tendency we have is to then respond to our reflections with terms like “If I only …” I have been working on reframing that internal conversation to “Next time I will.” So instead of writing If I could redo September I write: Next time I will utilize the knowledge gained from my last jaunt in the woods.

Motivation is an endlessly fluctuating relationship your body has with the desired outcome. The day before you leave for your hunt the motivation probably exceeds ability “I'd climb Everest if that's what it took to get a shot on an elk. Fast Forward to day 5 of your hunt with no signs of animals and wind and rain coming down upon you … The motivation to get warm and dry and eat chic-fil-a may be a bit more intriguing than hiking over one more ridgeline.

Maintaining motivation during a long hunt requires both an able body and mind and is often helped by some hopeful signs from nature, the sound of a not so distant bugle, story of another hunters success nearby, simply seeing an animal. I think a healthy goal going forward is that I do not want to be the limiting factor in terms of whether or not I am successful. I want my body, mind, knowledge and abilities to be so on point that if I wasn't successful it wasn't due to a lack of effort.

I find that after a certain point of fitness and knowledge it becomes a mental game. This is true for both spearfishing and bowhunting. I am nowhere near max fitness or knowledge level of either of these activities. But the guys I look at who have been doing it for decades have a different disposition then the ultrafit guy who’s never been in the field. Realizing that the limiting factor can be mental increases how I value mindset.

Next time I will be more prepared in as many facets of elk hunting as possible.

Hunting Elk is humbling.